Downton Abbey

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Isobel Crawley and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Isobel Crawley: [about the hospital] Who funds it?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham: Oh good, let's talk about money.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: Of course it would happen to a foreigner. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: One can't go to pieces at the death of every foreigner. We'd all be in a constant state of collapse whenever we opened a newspaper.

Isobel Crawley and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Isobel Crawley: How you hate to be wrong.

Violet: I wouldn't know, I'm not familiar with the sensation.

Mary and Cora:

Cora: I hate to lie.

Mary: I'll do it. I don't mind lying.

Mrs. Patmore: Ooh I like that Rudolph Valentino. He makes me shiver all over.

Carson: What a very disturbing thought.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: Oh that's a relief. I hate Greek drama. When everything happens off stage.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: [On womenhood] I'm a woman, Mary. I can be as contrary as I choose.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: [On Jazz] Do you think that any of them know what the others are playing?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: [On raising children] Yes, but it was an hour every day.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: [On being a grand parent] It's the job of grandmothers to interfere!

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: [On technology] First electricity, now telephones. Sometimes I feel as if I were living in an H.G. Wells novel.”

Anna: [Thomas's insistence of being referred to as Mr. Barrow] Mr. Stick It Up Your Jumper

Isobel Crawley and …:

Isobel Crawley: What are our plans keep Isis (the dog) out of the patients area ?

Lord Crawley: Absolutely nothing !

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, and …:

Violet: Why the lamentation? You don't have to see him if you don't want.

Isobel: You make it sound so easy.

Violet: There's nothing simpler than avoiding people you don't like. Avoiding one's friends - that's the real test.

Daisy: I was rubbish at numbers at school.

Mrs. Patmore: Well all the best people were rubbish at numbers at school.

Lady Shackleton: How's that lovely garden of yours?

Lord Merton: Still lovely, largely because I have the same lovely gardener.

Cora and …:

Cora: How does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?

Mrs Patmore: [the king speaking on the radio] Can he hear us?

Daisy: I don't think it works that way.

Carson: Mr. Barrow, you're back. I'm afraid you've missed our luncheon but you're in time to help upstairs.

Mrs. Hughes: Maybe there's something left.

Thomas: Don't bother. I'm not hungry.

Carson: Charming as ever, I see.

Tom: You remember we're meeting Mr. Wavel at three at the corner.

Robert: Very clearly but I don't see the point since I'm not going to agree.

Isobel, Rose, Robert, Tom, and Mary:

Isobel: How are your Russians getting on?

Rose: It's so sad. They talk about the old days - dances at the winter palace, picnics on the banks of the Niva - but there are holes in their shoes and they've got no money for food.

Robert: This is where Tom says it serves them right.

Tom: You're correct I don't approve of how things were managed in Russia but I'm still sorry for people who have to make a new life in a foreign land from scratch.

Mary: Honestly, papa, every time you challenge Tom, you sound much more unreasonable than he is.

Robert: Do I? How's your old beau managing, mama? Prince Thingamajig.

Edith and Robert:

Edith: Apparently there's a trial going on in Munich of the leader of a group of thugs there.

Robert: I read about this. They wear brown shirts and go around bullying people. The leader tried to start a revolution last year.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, and Edith:

Violet: I would never suggest anything that is not in your interest.

Edith: In my interest? Or the family's?

Violet: To me they are the same.

Edith: And that is where we differ.

Robert and Cora:

Robert: I can't stand that woman.

Cora: No great surprise there.

Mrs. Hughes and Sergeant:

Mrs. Hughes: Surely you can't think-

Sergeant: I'm not paid to think, Mrs. Hughes, just to record the facts.

Shrimpy, Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, and Isobel:

Shrimpy: By the way, Susan has written to Annabel to say she's furious that you've all taken me in.

Violet: Oh, dear. Susan has been in a rage since she was playing with her dolls. I am proof against her tantrums.

Isobel: I would rephrase that if you want to stay neutral.

Violet: I won't take sides, it's true, but I don't think I could ever be described as neutral.

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, Carson, and Barrow:

Violet: Barrow, are you quite well? Carson, have you been overworking him?

Carson: Not that I'm aware, your ladyship. Mr. Barrow, am I ill-treating you?

Barrow: You are the soul of kindness, Mr. Carson.

Rose and Cora:

Rose: I love cocktail parties.

Cora: Me too. You only have to stay forty minutes instead of sitting for seven courses between a deaf landownera and an even deafer major general.

Mrs. Hughes and Mrs. Patmore:

Mrs. Hughes: Then why did you ask [Carson]?

Mrs. Patmore: Because he's a man, I suppose.

Mrs. Hughes: I'm not sure that's a good enough reason.

Mrs. Patmore: Nor am I now. But I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Mrs. Hughes: I wish men worried about our feelings a quarter as much as we worry about theirs.

Mary and Tom:

Mary: Remember, Tom, make the right choice for you and not us.

Tom: You know you're much nicer than a lot of people realize.

Mary: Not always.

Blake and Mary:

Blake: I've asked a friend to join us and I want you to behave.

Mary: Why wouldn't I?

Edith and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Edith: I didn't tell you because I knew you'd think it was a mistake.

Violet: I suppose it never occured to you that I might be right?

Barrow and Bates:

Barrow: I've never felt better.

Bates: You've never looked worse.

Prince Igor and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Igor: If Irina were dead, I would as you to run away with me now.

Violet: You can't run away when there's no one left to run away from.

Prince Igor:

Igor: You think to be unhappy in a marriage is ill-bred.

Hairdresser:

Hairdresser: At least she can carry off [the bob]. Most of them look like bald monkeys.

Mary and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Mary: Granny, what do you think?

Violet: Oh, it is you. I thought it was a man wearing your clothes.

Mabel:

Mabel: Why turn up looking like a cross between a Vogue fashion plate and a case of dynamite?

Charles and Mary:

Charles: You might have allowed [Mabel] to be the first woman.

Mary: Nonsense. I don't believe in letting people win.

Charles: Even if it's in your own interest.

Mary:

Mary: Why the song and dance? Edith's gone away. So what?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham:

Violet: When I say we need some air, we need some air.

Sir Richard and Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, and …:

Sir Richard: I'll be leaving in the morning Lady Grantham. I doubt we will be seeing each other again.

Lady Violet: Do you Promise?

Violet, Dowager Countess of Grantham, and …:

Violet: Don't proclaim your intransigence as if it were a virtue.

Mary and Tom:

Mary: It's a dagger in my heart. I don't know what I'll do without you.

Tom: Did you ever think you'd say that when I drove you to your fittings with Madame Swan in Rippon?

Mrs. Hughes and Denker:

Mrs. Hughes: And in front of the maids too!

Denker: Well who gives a tinker's cuss about the maids?

Denker and Anna:

Denker: I don't think it's right to put on a wedding dress when it's only a blessing.

Anna: Well, she won't wear a veil.

Mrs. Hughes:

Mrs. Hughes: You should know, Andy, that you take your life in your hands if you throw in your lot with [Barrow and Denker].

Robert and Edith:

Robert: Look, it's Tony and Mary. They make a handsome couple.

Edith: Give it up, papa. It's a pipe dream.

Denker:

Denker: It was a funny marriage. No proper service, no veil. You'd have thought one of them was divorced.

Downton Abbey

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